I’ve got a problem. I keep comparing myself to other people. Quite frankly it’s annoying and I need to stop it but I can’t. I hear myself doing it, recognise that I’m doing it, get cross with myself for doing it, but still bloody do it! What’s that about! I’m a grown women who is meant to be in touch with myself. I don’t just do it with the fames, I do it with anyone who I think is doing things better than me. Even people who are doing things or have a talent in things I’ve never had an interest in or would really want to do. It’s ridiculous! Why does everyone else’s life choices seem better than mine?
And like any normal person I like to put the blame on anything else but my own insecurities. So the fact that I have 24/ 7 access to social media, blogs and online searches has a lot to answer for, I mean I obviously can’t not look or watch can I…………….. Personally I blame Instagram, I wasn’t as frustrated when I was just on Facebook……………… and I am becoming a little too obsessed with Fearne Cotton!………….
All joking aside, I do worry that if we as adults recognise that things like social media and the rise in reality TV shows, YouTubers and vloggers make us compare our selves to other people more than it used to, imagine where it’s leading our children. Talking to my young people I do get quite surprised how many are saying that they want to be YouTubers or vloggers and have even started their own channels. This is apparently a viable career or profession now. I also give myself a little reality check of thinking is this not just like us oldies who wanted to be the next Naomi Campbell supermodel or Brad Pitt superstar, there’s just more areas to be famous now. You don’t even need to try and get spotted by an agent any more, it’s as easy as just getting as many ‘likes’ or ‘views’ as you can by us normal people.
It gives me a conundrum. How can any of the things that I do, teach or say in my workshops and sessions make a big enough impact to ‘compare’ to this on line world? And should I when it’s part of the world we live in? So before my head explodes and I go and cry in a corner I remember why I do this. I can’t solve these things, they are part of our lifestyle now, but I can help to chip away at the negative impact they have on our own wellbeing. It’s managing them and doing those little things that will gradually build up the armour you need to be able to feel good about who you are no matter what.
So this is where I will focus. Little things. I will keep looking and exploring little ways that I can work with my young people to help them to build up their resilience and self love so they don’t feel such a need to compare their lives with others.
As for me, well, I have to remember it’s generally normal behaviour to compare yourself to others, mostly everyone does it, and have been doing it since human time began. I need to give myself a break sometimes, nobodies perfect. Then it’s reality check time. It’s remembering all the things in my life that I am thankful for. It’s taking some deep breaths in my happy place and remembering the things I have achieved, the little things. It’s doing something that I enjoy doing to feel grounded and alive. It’s using the internet in a positive way to expand my knowledge and draw inspiration in how I can support other people in their own journeys. It’s writing and creating and opening my mind to new things. It’s spending time with the people I love.
And if that doesn’t work, well there is always online shopping……………..